My mom taught me how to be a Professional Organizer before the profession even existed. She is one of the most organized people I know. She has a routine for everything. At the age of 88, she still keeps many of her life-long habits. Those routines are what kept her sane with six kids and a husband who traveled constantly.

Because of her habit of regularly “turning out” every drawer and closet in the house I learned to love organizing. I love the process of making order out of chaos. She taught me how to use what was available to make “organizing products.” Her routines taught me about time management and setting priorities.

My mother is British. She met my dad during World War II when he was stationed in England. She spent her childhood moving often and went to boarding school at the age of 11. The constant moving served her well when she became a US Air Force spouse. Six children were born in six different places. Her daily habits and routines kept her in place when all of us were sick or one of us had to be trundled off to the emergency room. She would often cling to the phrase she heard after a night in the air-raid shelter during the London Blitz, “Keep Calm and Carry On.” You must, of course, say that with a proper English accent for it to be effective.

Mom is a teacher who dearly loves teaching children how to read. She taught all six of us to love reading. She taught us about God and how to treat people. She taught us by example how to stay married “till death do us part.” In December my parents will celebrate their 68th wedding anniversary. The best advice she ever gave me was, “Marriage is impossible, just get on with it.” That, also, must be said with the proper accent.

My mother taught me how to live a good life. Thanks Mom, I love you.

In the next post: Amanda may be right about something.

Copyright© 2012 Elizabeth Tawney Gross, Organizing For Everyday, LLC

Last weekend’s attempt to get organized was a real disaster. Then Amanda started in on you again. “Why can’t you just do it? When are you going to organize, instead of making bigger messes? I think you don’t want to get organized. You want to live in this mess the rest of your life,” she said, as she rolled her eyes. You keep asking yourself, “Why can’t I get organized?” You’ve tried but you just can’t get it right. On Saturday, when you worked on the paper, you couldn’t make decisions. What if you made the wrong one and threw away something you should have kept? It was almost scary, every time you picked up a piece of paper you were haunted by the “what ifs.” The longer you thought about it the more you realized that’s what happens whenever you try to get organized. It’s not that you don’t want to be organized; it’s just so hard to decide.

Believe it or not, you are disorganized because of your perfectionism. By avoiding decisions you can avoid making mistakes. A PO recognizes this trait in clients and helps them to see how it is affecting their ability to get organized. She will help you develop decision models and ways to make the whole process of letting go easier. POs know that decision-making gets easier and faster the more you practice. I tell clients who are perfectionists to memorize the phrase, “Good enough is good enough.”

You know Amanda won’t let you go through a deliberation process with your things. She’ll demand that you decide instantly, the way she does. What would help you more, Amanda pushing you to make quick decisions, or a PO teaching you how to make choices you can live with?

I’m looking forward to your comments.

How has perfectionism contributed to your disorganization?

To be continued . . . More Amanda vs. a Professional Organizer

Copyright© 2012 Elizabeth Tawney Gross, Organizing For Everyday, LLC

While you were at Amanda’s house, you were all fired up about getting your house organized. Saturday you vowed, “I am going to get this place organized if it’s the last thing I do.” You got up early and decided you would start with the paper clutter on the kitchen table. All the clutter from the dining room table went on the floor. Then you took all the piles of paper from the kitchen and sorted them into smaller piles on the dining room table. Then you went through those piles and made more piles. At 4 o’clock, you look around your dining room and want to cry. You’re tired and discouraged and now you have stuff on the floor as well as paper on the table. You’ve made dozens of piles but still don’t know what to do with all that paper. You know what Amanda would do at this point. She’d grab your shredder and start stuffing things in. She’d say, “This stuff is so old it doesn’t matter anymore.” There are papers in there you know you need to keep, or think you should keep. They should probably be filed, but the file cabinet is full. You don’t even remember what’s in there. And you can’t find anything you put in there. Besides you hate going to the garage to file. It’s either too hot or too cold, and it’s so dark you can’t see.

You’ve done what POs call “churning,” Moving stuff around without making any decisions. This is where a PO can really help you. A PO, while not an attorney or a tax expert, knows which papers are important. She will help you with a decision process to speed up the sorting and the best way to store your vital information. She will have lots of ideas that will make filing and finding things much easier. I like the systems from FreedomFiler^® (http://www.freedomfiler.com/) because they are color coded and tell you what to keep and how long. What would you rather do, let Amanda grab and shred, or have a professional help you organize your important papers and develop a filing system that works so you can find them again?

I’m looking forward to your comments. Are you drowning in paper?

To be continued . . . more Amanda vs. a Professional Organizer

Amanda keeps harping about getting one of those hideous dumpsters. She says the two of you can get the whole place cleaned up in a weekend. The thought of working on organizing for an entire weekend makes you kind of woozy. You keep thinking, “I can’t do things that fast. I need time to make important decisions.” You’re wondering if a weekend blitz would end up with Amanda determining what gets thrown away. What if a lot of your stuff ends up in that dumpster Amanda’s in love with? A PO has the patience to help you make decisions at a speed you are comfortable with. She’s ready to ask you questions and help you prioritize what you want to keep. A PO can help you look at your life and your vision for the future and determine which items will support you in that. She knows methods that can speed up organizing, but she will never be the one who decides what stays and what goes. A PO knows that it’s your stuff and will never do anything without your permission.

What if having help from Amanda means listening to her endlessly tell you what to do? It would be just like when you worked together on the centerpieces for the banquet. If she had only stopped talking and shown you how to do them, written it down, or drawn a sketch, you could have easily done it. Instead, she just kept talking and talking and telling you what to do. And, they had to be done her way. She never listened to your ideas. Working with a PO is not being told what to do. A PO listens to your ideas and helps you refine them so things work the way you want them to. A well-trained PO will also listen to figure out the best way to teach you. Some people are auditory and prefer verbal instruction. You are probably visual and kinesthetic. You learn things more easily when someone shows it to you, and then you do the actions yourself. That way, you can learn it with your eyes and your body. How would you rather work on organizing, with endless talking or someone showing you how and helping you adapt things to your style?

To be continued . . . more Amanda vs. a Professional Organizer

If Amanda’s said it once she’s said it a hundred times, “Just get rid of all this stuff.”  What she doesn’t understand, but a PO does, is that your stuff is important to you.  Ok, you know you probably need to let go of some of it, but not everything – lots of it is good stuff.  When you work with a PO there is no expectation that everything has to go.  PO’s know that there are things that should be kept.  A PO will work with you to prioritize and help you decide what you need to keep and how much.

You really like Amanda’s house.  But is that your vision for your own home?  You really don’t want your house to look just like Amanda’s do you?  Doesn’t her’s feel a little too “perfect” to you?  Do you really feel relaxed when you are at her house?  Besides you really like your collection of giraffes.  Amanda thinks they’re ugly and stupid.  A PO will help you figure out what is important to you, no matter what someone else thinks.  If something is really meaningful to you then a PO will help you find a place for it to be displayed and enjoyed.  A PO would never tell you that your giraffes are stupid.

You would rather die than have a dumpster in your driveway.  All the neighbors will think you’re a Hoarder like the ones they see on TV.  That’s what Amanda says you should do.  Just take a bunch of trash bags and throw it all away.  A PO will work with you on a plan to let go of some of your stuff.  Maybe some things could go to a charity that you support.  What charities will accept and how to schedule pick-ups is information that a PO will have available to help you.  Won’t you feel better if you are helping someone rather than just tossing stuff in a dumpster?

To be continued…More Amanda vs. a Professional Organizer

You know what Amanda thinks about you and your clutter. She’s told you a hundred times, “You need to get organized and get rid of all that useless stuff.” One big difference between Amanda and a Professional Organizer (PO) is that a PO will not judge you or your mess. To a PO clutter is just clutter, not a character flaw. You are not bad, stupid, or lazy just because you have too much stuff.

How many times have you worked yourself to death to get everything cleaned up and few months later it is messy again? Amanda says you’re hopeless and you’ll never get organized. Here’s the second difference between Amanda and a PO. PO’s don’t just get things organized they also help you learn to be more organized. They don’t teach this stuff in school but you need organizing skills for everyday life. A PO can show you practical ways to get organized and stay organized. Amanda can help you get it cleaned up, but you know in a few months it will be disorganized again.

Let’s be honest, can you really trust Amanda to keep her mouth shut about your clutter?
That’s the third difference, and an important one. A PO is not going to tell all her friends that you have stacks of stuff that have been there so long they’re dusty. POs value your confidentiality and won’t talk about you or post pictures of your mess on Facebook. A PO that belongs to a professional association like the National Association of Professional Organizers, http://www.napo.net, or the Institute for Challenging Disorganization, http://www.challengingdisorganization.org, has to agree to a code of ethics that includes client confidentiality. Amanda probably never thinks about your right to privacy. Who would you rather trust?

To be continued . . . More Amanda versus a PO